Super Useless Power
by XxShugoCharaCafexX
Summary: Everyone gained a super useless power! How will they use it? What is easter's new plan? Is being peanut flavored a power?
1. Preface

**Preface**

**The Good Side(?)**

Tadase-Makes people gay

Nagi-Makes people fall asleep

Amu-Stratching power(but it drains strength)

Rima-Makes ice creams

Kukai-Makes people lick his foot

Ikuto-Turns into dog or a cat

Utau-Control people's hair

Yaya-Makes buisness suits

Kairi- Farting power AKA:Super Fart

**The bad side**

Ikuto's stepdad(is he Gozen or is Hikaru Gozen, could you put this in the review?)Makes liver

Butter dude-Makes poisonous butter

Peanut dude-Is peanut flavored

Random guy- He has power to make one object come to life, but it cost him his life

**This is a battle(?) between the good and the bad and the weirdos. Easter is making evil plans again, and the good/weird side is trying to stop them with their super useless power. Again, no shugo charas are in this story.**


	2. Chapter 1: The Beginning

**Gina-chan: Finally! The first chapter of Super Useless Power... **

**Cami-chan: It's been an year since you started to talk about making this.**

**Gina-chan: But then I only thought of the first chappie.**

**Cami-chan: Anyway...GoGO!!!!!**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The guardians said goodbye, and hung up the phone. Kairi ate a burrito before he went to sleep. While he was asleep, a light beamed from inside his mouth. He groaned and turned.

00000Morning00000

Kairi woke up and farted. Then he couldn't stop farting. "What the heck?! I never farted this long before!!!" Kairi complained.

Yukari was bringing Kairi's breakfast. He's favorite, eggs and bacon. She hoped he'll like it. When she opened the door to Kairi's room, she smelled his room and fainted.

Nagi woke up and he was still tired, so he layed back down and started sleeping again.

Kairi came to his house to get advice from Nagi, and Nagi's mom let him in. When he went into Nagi's room, and accidently farted again, making Nagi faint in his sleep.

"Oopsie daises."

--------------------Amu's House------------------------

Ikuto was at Amu's balcony, and Amu was writing in her diary. She was saying it out loud while writing it. Ikuto couldn't hear her well, so he pressed his ear to the window. No luck.

"I wish I could hear her...." He wished. Then suddenly, something changed. He didn't know what, but something changed.

"Pretty kitty!!!!!!" Ami screamed as she opened up the balcony and grabbed....

-----------------Ikuto's POV----------------------

ME?!!!!!!!!! Wait, don't kiss me!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!! But all that came out was "Meow, meow, meow!!!"

"I love you to, mister Kitty!!!!" Ami said while rubbing her face on my fur.

"Ami, give me the cat." Amu said. Ami shook her head. Amu streched out her arm."Give!" She ordered.

-----------------Normal POV------------------

Then she noticed...her arm was stretching!!!!! Then her arm dropped. "Ugh!!!!" Her arm started to her. She didn't have any strength in her arm what so ever. When she dropped her arm, it dropped on Ikuto, squishing him.

Then Tadase popped out of nowhere.

"I can make people gay!!!!" He gayily squeled. He looked around with a smile on his face and then died. Amu sweatdropped.

Suddenly, Ikuto turned into human again, showing his **BLUUUUURRRR~~~**

"I...Ikuto?!" Amu shouted, backing up.

Kairi came to Amu's house to get her an advice for how to stop farting, since he already make Nagi faint. Amu's mom let him in, and Kairi went into Amu room and...farted. They fainted, except for Tadase. He revived, and said "I'm gay." , fainted, then died again.

Utau was singing 'My Heartful Song' up on stage. Everybody was enjoying her song. She smiled as she sang more loudly. Yukari was watching her(she recovered from Kairi's fart), and she nodded with a big smile on her face.

In the crowd, there was a one unhappy audience. That was Rima. She was really hot, as in it was really hot in there.

"OMG! it's too hot in here!" She cried out. "I wish it was more colder in here."

Suddenly, from nowhere, ice creams started to fall, and everybody ran away. Utau noticed that Rima hasn't left and knew she was the cause. Suddenly, Rima's hair got longer and longer and wrapped around her.

Utau noticed that she, herself was doing that.

Just then, Kukai walked in. Utau's hair make a heart shape.

Kukai had just came back from his soccer practice.

"Dang, my foot hurts. I really need a massage..." He said loud.

Suddenly Utau and Rima started to lick his foot.

"WTF?!!!!"

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**Gina-chan: Well....there. Be sure to R&R.**

**Cami-chan: Yeah, be sure to R&R.**


	3. Chapter 2: The Start

**Gina-chan: Yay chappie 2!!!!!**

**Cami-chan: Now...moment of silent...**

**Gina-chan: Who died?!**

**Cami-chan: You remember? Tadase did.**

**Gina-chan: Oh....**

**Gin-chan and Cami-chan: Silent~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**Gina-chan: *sniff sniff* he was so young!!!!**

**Cami-chan: You know, your the one who killed him...**

**Gina-chan: He was sooooooooooooooo fun to mess with! He's like a little brother I'll never have!!!!**

**Cami-chan: Why don't you ask your mom for one?**

**Gina-chan: I can't!!!! Cause Tadase's dead!!! **

**Cami-chan: O...kay then....**

**Gina-chan: That's it! Tadase's coming back later.**

**Cami-chan: Ok...I really don't care, Jina.**

**Gina-chan: NOOO!!!! Call me by my fanfiction name!**

**Cami-chan: G...ina....?**

**Gina-chan: Yeah!**

**Cami-chan: Gina, just...just...she doesn't own shugo chara so would you shut up and just start the story?!**

**Gina-chan: Sure...if your that mad, I guess I have no choice...and guess what!**

**Cami-chan: Arggg!!!! I getting Gwen to kill you!!!!!!**

**Gina-chan: Gwenny!!!! Welcome!!!!**

**Gwen: Never...call me that.**

**-----------------------------------------------------------**

"What the heck!!!!" Kukai shouted, as his chair went backward, making him fall. Still, Utau and Rima were still licking his feet. "What are you doing!!!!"

"Licking your foot, what does it look like I'm doing?" Utau said in a bored voice.

"Why?" Kukai asked, trying to get his foot back.

"I don't know! I just suddenly really wanted to!" Utau said. She grabbed his foot and kept on licking it.

"Me too, this foot is chocolate flavored." Rima said, licking his foot.

"Chocolate?!" Yaya shouted, popping out of nowhere. "I heard chocolate, give me chocolate! I know I heard you say 'it's chocolate flavored', so don't deny! Give me chocolate, I want chocolate!!!! CHOCOLATE~!!!!!!"

Suddenly, everyone was wearing buisness suit.

"WTH?! What is happening!" Kukai shouted in frustration.

"Here, one chocolate ice cream. That'd be two dallors." Rima said, making Yaya a chocolate icecream.

"Yes, thank you. Nice doing buisness with you." Yaya said as she walked away with her chocolate ice cream.

"Rima!!!" Utau said, making Rima's hair shorter and shorter....

"Whoa, she's bald!" Kukai shouted. "This is amazing!!!!"

"Rima, I want ice cream too!" Utau said.

"Sure, sure, take advantage of my power." Rima said, making Utau her ice cream. "Now give me my hair back!"

"Sure."

"What?! This hair is green!!!! I repeat, green!" Rima screamed.

"I'm sorry that I don't special in blond hair." Utau said.

"Just give me my blond hair back!"

"Fine." Utau said, rolling her eyes.

"Finally...whoa!!!" Rima and Utau fell to the ground and started licking Kukai's feet again.

"Now it tasts like....Sour apple candy."Rima said.

"Sour apple candy?" Yaya shouted , popping out of nowhere. "I heard sour apple candy, give me sour apple candy! I know I heard you say 'it's taste likesour apple candy', so don't deny! Give me sour apple candy, I want sour apple candy!!!! SOUR APPLE CANDY~!!!!!!"

"Here, try licking his foot." Rima said.

"Sure." Yaya leaned down and started licking Kukai's foot. "Woah, it's sour apple candy flavored!"

-----------------------------------Somewhere in easter------------------------------------------

"Gozen, I kind of left the burritos in Kairi's house..." A radom guy said. "And it looks like everyone in Guardian, Utau, and Ikuto has a power!"

"What?! Call butter dude, we got a serious problem!" Gozen said.

"Yes, gozen-sama." The random dude left.

"You called, Gozen-sama?" Butter dude asked.

"Yes, I need you to trap the guardians, Utau, and Ikuto in the poisounous butter." Gozen ordered.

"Yes, but what will you do?" Butter dude asked.

"Me? I'll make liver for you." Gozen said.

"Coolio."

----------------------------------At Amu's house---------------------------------------

It hs been silent for a while and Amu's mom got curious. What were they doing up there. She decided to take a look and she found...

"Oh my gosh! A naked boy! Oh my gosh! A dead boy! Oh my gosh, A fainted boy! Oh my gosh, a stretchy girl! Oh wait, that's my daugther!"....faint.

---------------------------------Somewhere in easter---------------------------------

"Oh my gosh! Ikuto's naked!" The Random guy said, showing what was happening with his crystal ball.

"Oh my gosh! The gay power! NOOOOOO!!!!" Gozen shouted. "I wanted that power...."

"It's your fault, isn't it!!!!" Gozen shouted.

"Okay, fine! I'll give you a another minion and die!"

"Yes, do that." Gozen smirked. "How about that giant peanut over there?"

"Okay." The Random guy focused on the giant peanut doll and gave him and soul, and the Random guy died.

"Alright, now peanut dude, what powers can you use?"

"I'm a peanut flavored!" He sang.

"DARN YOU, RANDOM GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gozen shouted.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Gwen: I am taking over the world. With my power murdering power and everything, I am invincible!**

**Cami-chan: Unless Kukai gets you to lick his foot.**

**Gina-chan: Anyway, review please! Please! Click and review, Review!!!!!!!**


	4. Chapter 3: Going On

**Gina-chan: I have a poll up in my profile, asking if I should make the cinderellaish story first or the mistake no.2 story. Mistake no.2 story isn't a one chapter story. It's going to have more then just one chapter. Maybe up to 20? I don't really like one chapter story, beacause you don't get that much of that story. Except the 'Narumi's a Women' by me. That's just...really short. Anyway, I will never to a one chapter story ever again, unless it's a request from my readrer.**

**Cami-chan; She doesn't own shugo chara.**

**Gina-chan: Well, I'm already working on my cinderellaish, so I don't think the poll would change my mind... unless alot of people want Mistake no.2 first.**

**Cami-chan: That goes back to....**

**Gina-chan: I found my notebook!!!**

**Cami-chan: So her and I were talking today...**

**Gina-chan: About how I drew...Gwen!!!! Gwen is an actual person if your asking. I just drew her in a manga way. She actually turned out good. And yes, she is beautiful for a you-know-what.**

**Cami-chan: Let me be the one to inform that Layla, sho, and also Lao is real. They're all our friends. Kind of...for Gwen.**

**Gina-chan: We kinda figured out she a you-know-what and she threatened us to be her secret keeping friend or else. And we all know what her 'or else' means.**

**Cami-chan: Now, onward to the story of awsomeness!**

**Gina-chan: Oh, thank you!**

**Cami-chan: No, I meant my story :Amu's dream check out it's awsomeness, everyone. Just type and click, no being lazy. Oh, and review!**

**-----------------------------------------------------------**

Amu woke up and saw that Ikuto was still on top of her, NAKED. She stayed in that position for a second, not sure what to do, then tried to get Ikuto of. The only thing she could do was the turtle shake. Ikuto was too heavy for her. (**Cami-chan: He's just fat, ain't he, Gina? Gina-chan: Yes, but I like him no matter what size he is, as in fatness**) Then she powered up when she saw her mom. She practically, no, she really did, threw Ikuto out the balcony, kicked Tadase's dead body into under her bed, and put Kairi in her chair. She looked around her room. Everything was...perfect!!! She grabbed her mom and threw her downstairs.

"Huh, hope that didn't hurt." She wondered. "Oh, whatever, it's not like I really care."

"Amu...you threw me out the balcony...don't you know that you live in the second floor?" Ikuto asked, rubbing his back. Still NAKED.

"Yes, and I was hoping you won't come back to this world for at least two days." She said, sitting on the couch. "And put some cloths on, for heaven's sake!"

"I should, shouldn't I?"

"Yes, you should."

"But the question is, will I?" Ikuto said, smirking.

"That'd be a no." Amu sighed.

"Correcto!"

"Unless my mom wakes up..." Amu said. Ikuto thought for a moment.

"Neh, I'm going. Bye!" Ikuto said, walking out side, NAKED.

"Wait Ikuto...Like that?" Amu asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Ikuto turned into a cat and ran out Amu's house.

"Yeah, do that." Amu muttered. Then she went back to watching the TV. "Now, I should do something about that body upstairs." She was about to go upstairs when her favorite show came on. She sat back down and watched it, forgetting all about Tadase's body.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Kairi woke up to find himself kidnapped. He was sure he was in a girl's room though. There was a balcony and the room was basically pink. He woke up from a chair. The chair didn't seem like it was poisoned... Well, the kidnapper is a stupido, cause he left his balcony door open. He's freeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He slid down the curtain and ran off for his freedom. Weird, the house seemed familier though...probably just a feeling, he thought.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Ikuto!!!!" Utau called. "I had the weirdest day ever! I made people's hair move, and then I licked Kukai's foot!" She looked around but could not find Ikuto. Then suddenly, naked Ikuto popped out of nowhere.

"Gosh, Ikuto. Your making it too easy to rape you. But then again, I don't have a sister complex anymore...how about I call the fan girls from school to rape you? Yes, I shall do that." Utau got busy calling her school friends.

Ikuto wasn't paying attetion at all. Little did he know that he had less then a minute to prevent himself from getting raped.

----------------------------------------AT EASTER

"Okay, Peanut Dude, what else can you do?" Gozen asked in a serious voice.

"I sing and dance!" It said happily.

"Okay, show me what you got!"

"I got peanut!"

"I meant sing and dance!"

"All right!" Peanut man started dancing and singing. "I'm a goofie goober yeah, your a goofie goober yeah, goofie goofie goofie goober yeah!"

"This is going to be a long~~~~~~ night."

"Goofie goober yeah, your a goofie goober yeah" and so on.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Yaya looked at all her cloths and made a face. Why was it all buisness suits!!! It was sooo OOC for her! She did not want to wear this! Well, better to be naked than wear that. Yeah, why not be naked? It's not against the rule, is it?

-------------------------------------------------------------

"That'd be two dollars." Rima said, handing the teens their ice cream. She finally figured out what she'd be! A funny ice cream man...slash girl...or women...she also offers lady.

"Bala-balance!"

-------------------------------------------------------------

Little did the guardians,Ikuto,and Utau knew how big of a danger was coming.

------------------------------------------------------------

**Gina-chan: I am soooooo lazy, I think I'll stop here for today.**

**Cami-chan: Okay, I've been wanting to go also.**

**Gina-chan: Byez.**


	5. Chapter 4:The unexpected

**J-chii: Welcome~~to the world of fartness. Noticed that my name changed? I'm J-chii now!!!!(Coz my real name is Jina)**

**C-chii: And me is Cami-ish!!!!**

**B-chii: Yay! I'm now one of the author's note peeps thingy! I'm PandaBear-36 and...**

**A-chii: I'm Tazzykid! Check me and B-chii out on our profile and our combined profile:YOGHURT2yogurt**

**J-chii: Me and B-chii and A-chii were PMing, and in our PM, Ikuto/the sexy vampire became mine, Nagihiko became B-chii's, and Zero and Kaname became A-chii's.**

**C-chii: Who do I get?**

**J-chii: Who do you wanna get?**

**C-chii: Kyoya, Hikaru and Kaoru, Mori, Gaara, Kukai, That Guy From ToraDora That Starts With a R..., Kazune, Mitchi, Jin, Husky, Cooro, Senri.**

**J-chii: Fine! Then I own Lelouch, Luffy, Sandi, Any Other Hotness peeps from Shugo chara, Another hotness that starts with an R, and *slaps C-chii* Jin is mine!!!!!!! If you reader want to claim hotnesses, revoo pleaz ^^ I'll let ya take me or C-chii's hotnesses, if we don't like them That much. PS: Ikuto's hotness has doubled now that he's a vampire. Now, Did ya know that if you miss spell insult, it becomes inslut?....Alright! ON WITH THE STORY!!!!**

**IMPORTANT: Can you guys do the new poll about what your style is on me profile????**

**----------------------------------------------**

"Hmm...." Amu said, looking at her chair. "I can truthfully say that I placed something....there..." She wondered what, but could not figure out. She shrugged it off and sat on her bed. Funny...was her bed this...lumpy before? She jumped up and down on it, but it didn't feel the same as before. Was it time to get a new mattress?

"OOF."

"Huh?" Amu heard a noise from underneath her bed...TADASE-KUN!!!!!! OH NO!!!! Wait, wasn't he dead? How did he make a noise? Oh, well, she thought, I don't wanna become a suspect, so I'd better just let him rot down there.

"OOF." The sound was getting more creepier. Was Tadase really alive?

"Amu-chan!" Her mom called. She shrugged the creepy feeling and went downstairs.

"Like, yeah?"

"When I went up to your room, I saw a naked guy laying on you and a fainted guy laying on the floor and a gay guy who died. What was going on?" She asked. Amu gulped. How was she going to explain this??!!! Should she tell her that her arm stretched and the cat became a naked teen and then Kairi suffocated them with super fart, then Tadase tried to make them gay, but died?!!! She wondered if that made any sense at all.

"Uh..." Amu said, nervous smile creeping up on her face.

"I know what happened there." Her mom said. Amu raised her eyebrow.

"You do?"

"Of course, honey."

"What...do you think...happened?"

"Come here." Her mom said, dragging her to the couch. Amu looked at her suspiciously. Her mother had a sad face of a women who had let her daughter have sex with an random perv.....wait, could it be????!!!!

"I'm sorry I didn't give you the sex talk earlier." Her mom said, sighing. WHHHHHAAAATTTTT????!!!!!!!!

"No, NO! Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, like that happened. I mean my arm just...! And then the cat just...! And then Kairi's fart just...! And all the gay power!!!! The nakednesss!! It's all a lie!!!! It's all a dream!!!!!"

"He broke up with you after you had...you-know-what????!!!!" Her mom said, gasping so loud, she accidently sucked her daughter in.

"I'm sorry." She said, spitting her daughter back out.

"No!!! Nothing like that happened! It was alll~~~ a dream!"

"How can you say that when I found this rotted body underneath your bed, Amu-chan!" Her mom said, pulling out Tadase's rotted body out of nowhere. Wow, he rotted REALLY fast.

"That's the gay power!!!" Amu shouted.

"What...?"

"The nakedness! It's a cat!"

"Amu-chan, your not making any sense, and this boy, did you do you-know-what with him too?" Her mom asked, still holding the rotted body.

"NOOOO!!!!! Mama, I don't need any you-know-what talk!!!" Amu groaned.

"Let me tell you all about the history of reproduction." Her mom said, taking out a giant book that was about 5 feet tall and said 'Reproduction' at the top.

"Nooo!!!" I groaned.

"Okay fine. How about this book?" She said, pulling a book out that said 'How to Have A Safe Sex'.

"I am sooo gonna killmyself!!!!" Amu said, grabbing a knife from the kitchen.

"Nooo, Amu-chan! Before you do that, you should read this book first!" Her mom said, pulling out a book called 'How To Control Your Emotion By Elmo'.

"Mom. I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You." Amu said.

"Oh, before that, read THIS book!!!" Her mom pulled out another book called 'Beat Your Doll Up To Control Your Anger At Someone'. "Amu-chan, You've got alot of things to read. Memorize all the four books by Friday. We're taking a test on it."

"AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! I'M SOOOOOO KILLING SOMEONE TONIGHT!!!!"

"Read the-"

"SSHHHHUUUUTTTT UUUUUPPPP!!!!!"

---------------------------------------------------

_Day 1_

_My name is Kairi. I was just kidnapped by a girl. I do not know who, but I escaped. Now I accidently ended up at the woods, and I am currently lost. All I need is a pocket knife to survive in the wild, or that is what the book I was reading the day before said. Wait, why do I need my pocket knife? Whatever, I throwing it away. Ah! I see a bird! Maybe I can use one of those emergency telepathic super power whatnot to communicate this forest creature I see. Ooops, another silp of my dang fart. Hey! What happened? The bird suddenly fell out of the air;it's dead. Is there an animal killer somewhere around here? I'd better be careful._

_---------------------------------------------_

"Ikuto!!!!!" Utau was utterly shocked to see her brother completely naked by the door.

"Yeah?" He said in a bored tune.

"What...but...why?!!!" Utau said, imagining everything that could've happened.

"Eh, I'm a cat. Oh, and a dog."

"..."

"Yeah. Utau, can you draw the bath? I really need one."

"Uh...sure but... are you going to do that everyday from now on?" Utau asked suspiciously.

"Do what?" Ikuto asked.

"Be naked."

"Holy cow, I'm naked!!!!" He looked at Utau in a horrifying way. "What did you do to me, Utau!"

"Nothing! You just came here naked saying 'I'm a cat'. I mean, what am I suppose to do?"

"Oh. Well. Okay then."

------------------------------------------AT EASTER

"Call peanut dude. We finally got a good job for him. He would do great at it." Gozen said.

"Ima peanut dude and Ima here!"

"I want you to become the next Goofie Goober Peanut, and take all the heart eggs from those Goofie Goober Wanabes."

"Ima do my best!"

"Ha! Finally the perfect plan!"

"Yes, wanna lick me now?" The peanut dude asked.

"What?"

"You know, lick my body? It's peanut flavored.

"No...not really."

"Well, call me any time if you want to lick peanut."

"....Sure."

"Ima going, byez!" Peanut dude started to leave to go to his new job.

"...Alright then, about the perfect plan, I'd like to have a double cheese burger with a...."

ON THE PHONE: "Sir? The strawberry milkshake is half off today."

"Oh, okay, then that and.... do you sell curly fries?"

ON THE PHONE: "Sure."

"Yeah, ok, um, I'd like double cheese burger, a...strawberry milkshake, curly fries, and...um....vanilla cone."

ON THE PHONE: "...Sir? You sound like a fattie."

"I don't care, I just need my perfect lunch plan!"

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**J-chii: I don't own Elmo or Goofie Goober. I have no idea where this story is leading. This chapter was soooo unexpacted even to me. Yeah, so if you don't get it:**

**Kairi got lost.**

**The bird died because of Kairi's fart.**

**Amu's mom thought that Tadase, Ikuto, and she did 'it'.**

**The perfect plan Gozen was talking about is the lunch order.**

**Ikuto had no idea he was naked.**

**The thing that Amu had placed in her chair was Kairi whom escaped and got lost.**

**Does that clear it up? If you got any more question, pm me or put it in the revoo please.**


	6. Chapter 6

**J-chii: So sorry for the late update!!! my other non-fanfiction/kinda fanfiction life was too busy by reading other's fanfics and my social life of my singing(in private) career while dancing(that is in shower) and lawyer career(in my dreams) and my school thingys. Bad news: I FAILING MATH. Yes I am. Ok, done talking about my misery.**

**C-chii:That's because yer stupid jina.**

**K-chii:(hello my name is kelly) that's kinda mean.**

**A-kun:(hey, I'm alex dude) yeah.**

**G-dude:(Ima Gavin dude) uh-huh. PS: could you guys stop pocking my face?**

**M-guy: (hello, I'm mitchell.) Yeah, and stop stealing(threatening my life if I don't give you one) my chocolate?**

**B-chii: AHHH!!!! TOO MUCH PEEPS!!!! I HATE CROWDS!!!!**

**A-chii: Jina, B-chii's kinda...you-know-what.**

**J-chii: What?**

**A-chii: you know...what.**

**J-chii: No, I don't know what.**

**A-chii: Me neither, OMG!!!!**

**G-dude: …Alright then.^^**

**J-chii and C-chii: *pokes his face where is saids 'WF'***

**K-chii: What the heck is this chii thing? **

**J-chii and C-chii: You don't have to know.**

**K-chii: Stop putting it in front of my name! What the heck is it!!!!!**

**J-chii: And it was allllll~~~~ a dream. **

**G-dude: ...Alright then.^^ Jina doesn't own shugo chara...is that right? What is this 'shugo chara', actually?**

* * *

So there was Peanut Dude, just seating there, at the bar(goofie goober is a place where little kids drink beers(this is a pretty messed up world)). So he was dancing and singing("Ima goofie goober yeah, like, hurray, yeah, and you ARE a goofie goober like a booger, but only not!") when this little boy, somehow naturally blond when his Asian, came up to him and slashed a part of him and started eating it.

"Kid, I am no treat." He had said. The kid cussed him out like no people can in every language possible and left(like I said, messed up world).

"GOOFIE! You know, you name reminds me of someone..." A girl said, sitting on his lap(it's not a perverted scene. Just think of little kids sitting on lap of mall Santa).

"A gay ninja with blond and spiky hair that must need to be really hard to do in a bright gay orange suit?" He asked. The girl shook her head.

"A soul reaper guy with a same hair as the gay ninja except it's orange and looks like a...weird guyish guy?" He asked. The girl shook her head again.

"A giant dancing fish that has rainbow coming out of his nose."

"No."

"The wife of the gay fish."

"No, and your more gayer."

"Alright then."

"He's a pirate person..."

"BLACKBEARD!!!"

"No."

"...Black....beard."

"No."

"B....lack....be....ard."

"No~~."

"A really long skinny guy with a red shirt and jeans that he never seems to change and a strawhat?"

"Yeah! Luffie-the-what's-his-nose!"

"You mean what's-his-face, right?"

"No, what's-his-nose."

"...Alright then." A passing by G-dude said. The girl hopped off his lap and said a farewell to him(she might appear again. Who knows? I'm random XD).

---------------------------------------

So Ikuto was sitting there in a hot bath water(yes he is naked AGAIN) that Utau had drawn for him(LOL, then she suddenly came in and..RAPE!!!). He wondered and wondered...why was water blue when this bath water was...just...clear. Just, just, ew clear. Or is it ew for blue? Now his mind was on the bathroom. Why did he decide to paint it red? Now it just looked like blood(then a ghost it white robe or whatever appeared and ate him XD). Hm..why did he not own a deodorant? Why the heck did he have Tadase bobblehead in the bathroom as a soap holder...? What WAS he thinking about when he was decorating this bathroom? Why the heck would he put a chandelier in the bathroom?

"Ikuto~~~! Hurry up! I have to shower too! You've been in there for four hours!" Utau complained from the other side of the door.

"Hey, how did we get a chandelier that's bigger then the door in here?"

"Don't ask me, you did it. Maybe with that shrinking ray of Mermaidman's."

"Oh. Maybe. He was glad to give it to me."

"Yeah. Oh, and as a heads up, Spongebob has been trying to call you all morning."

"...You know they're not real, right?"

"...I wonder who was that giant sponge I talked to..."Utau wondered.

"Hmm, maybe he does exist."

"YESSSSSSS~~~!!!! I KNEW IT!"

"Utau, has anything strange been happening to you?"

"...I can control peep's hair."

"...Never mind. Ah!...Nya...nya....MEOW!!!!!!.....Woof."

"Ikuto what happened in there????" Utau screamed when she heard her brother scream, Nya, then screech really loud, then woof.

"Woof!"

"...Sure."

---------------------------------------------------

_Day 2_

_This is getting really freaky. I'm hearing stuff. I heard a girl's voice today, and I'm having hallucinations too. I must be getting too much sun. I hallucinated me seeing a park where Tsukiyomi-san just walked across naked. Anyway, I think a bird just dropped a book on my head. Well, I sure because I touched it and felt it then I saw it! It was my survival book!!! Smart birdy! Now what kind of mushroom can I eat..._

_-----------------------------------------------------_

"Now when is the best time to reproduce?" Her mother asked.

"When your married." Amu said, rolling her eyes.

"Why does your doll not feel a thing when you hit it?"

"Because it doesn't have any soul in it~~."

"Why is Elmo an author?"

"Because he's smart.."

"Truth or false. You should always talk about 'it' with your parents before you do 'it'"

"Truth."

"Who was the first one to reprduce?"

"...I dunno, Eve?"

"Why did Noah buit a ark?"

"So the animal and his family will survive."

"Who was the last one to reproduce?"

"I dunno, the person who just reproduced?"

"Yes. Amu, your test is over." Her mom said, gathering up all the books.

"Okay...I really think I didn't have to read any of that."

"Mommy, I'm going over to Rima's house today." Amu asked/demended. Her mom was now in the kitchen cooking.

"Oh, sure, but Amu-chan, remember, if you are going to you-know-what, all you have to do is tell me, you don't have to lie."

"I #W$^#&#%&$#%&$!!!!!!!"(you can imagine everything she said). Her mom laughed and let her go. Amu agrilly ran out of her house.

"Some mom she is." She mumbled. Rima was there at the park, waiting for her.

"So how did the test go?" She asked Amu. Amu just sighed, not wanting to talk about it. Rima giggledat that.

"So, we really have to talk about this...'powers' we got." She said. Amu nodded. The gaurdians were all busy at the moment, so she decided to at least talk about it with her best friend.

"So. I have power that makes my arm stretch but it drains my strength."

"And I have a power that can make ice cream. Really nice, ain't it?" Amu shrugged. At least you could do something with Rima's power. Amu's power was just...blargh.

Rima's mom was making drink for them at the kitchen downstairs. Yes, MAKING. That moment, she was possesed by the Easter, and she added sleeping potion to it. She brought it upstairs and gave it to them. They said thank you and took it gladly. When she stepped out, she snapped back in to reality.

"Wha...what...?"

"Rima, okay, would you ra...th..e.......rr........" Amu fell instantly and fell into a deep sleep. Luckly, Rima hadn't had any drink.

"Amu!"

"What's wrong with her?" Ikuto said, entering Rima's house from the balcony.

"Amu's dead!"

**J-chii: The End. XD, Jk!!!!**

**K-chii: You know, this story doesn't make sense at all.**

**A-kun: Agreed.**

**B-chii: That's because you haven't read/watched the anime/manga, and haven't read it from the first chapter, heck, you haven't read it at all, not even this chapter, Jina just metioned your name for no apparent reason.**

**M-guy: So does that mean I can leave?**

**J-chii and C-chii: Only if you give us chocolate.**

**M-guy: I don't have any chocolate today.**

**J-chii: Seven dayz.**

**M-guy: You know, you said that last week, but I didn't die.**

**J-chii: That's because I posponed it.**

**M-guy: O...kay then.**

**A-chii: Jina doesn't own Spongebob characters, Elmo, Naruto, Bleach, One piece. But she own the rainbow fish and the wife of the fish that she made up out of random!**

**J-chii: OKAY, THE FIRST ONE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M SAYING BELOW WILL WIN A FREE RANDOM ONE CHAPTERED STORY(CAMI, YOU CAN'T PARTICIPATE): Nehcrowfellah iza sockshuall disyer fo dad bahdeiz.**


	7. Chapter 7: Peanut Dude in Rima's House

** Cami-chan: For the first time, I'm the first one to talk in Gina-chan's talking sesion thingy ma jiggy or however you spell that.**

** Gina-chan: Amu's dead!!!!!! remember folks??**

** Amu: But...I'm right here...**

** Cami-chan: No, You DIED.**

** Amu: …Sure...**

** Gina-chan: Yeah, she died.**

** Cami-chan: Oh, yeah!**

** Gina-chan: Yes.**

** Cami-chan: yeah...**

** Gina-chan: GOOD JOB! *thumbs up***

** Cami-chan: GODD JOB! *thumbs up***

** Gina-chan: GOOD JOB! *thumbs up***

** Cami-chan: GODD JOB! *thumbs up***

** Gina-chan: HIGH FIVE!**

** Cami-chan: HIGH FIVE! *high fives jina***

** Gavin: I DO!!*gayly*(he's not really gay, he's just pretending these days;;)**

* * *

"Amu died!!" Rima cried, holding Amu's dead(or she thought) body close to her own protectively as if someone was going to brake in and try to take Amu from her, which had only .0000000000000001 chance of happening, which Rima didn't want to waste. The truth was, Rima was turning bi. Kind of. Ish. That's the reason she was so sad that Amu died.

"Dang it, now I'm going to start having necrophila..."

"AMU! YOU DIED?!!! WHAT'S WRONG!!!" Rima turned around to see a tall blue haired cat/guy person thingy. Probably on her balcony, which she didn't have, so probably floating on air where a balcony would be if she had one, but she didn't see and blueness. Instead, she saw yellowish brown. A giant peanut floating in air, which of course, once again, where her balcony should be if she had one. Wait, wasn't Ikuto just here? Maybe she's seeing things...LIKE A GIANT PEANUT!!!!!

"Who...who are you?" Rima asked, pulling Amu closer.

"I'm...I'M!!!"

"Yes???!!!"

"PEANUT DUDE!!!" He said happily, opening Rima's balcony window(which she did not know why she had it if she didn't have a balcony).

"Ooh, yeah, I've heard of you." Rima said, now that she thought about it.

"You have??!!" The Peanut Dude's eye twinkled with delight...because he was tasting himself right that moment.

"Yeah, your that...that..." Rima hit her head, trying to remember where she had seen him before. Clearly, she had a memory problem. Dang, she thought, my memory therepist is so fired!

Peanut Dude was so bored by the tedious moment while Rima was thinking, he started searching for Peanut Dudett on Rima's laptop. He came across her Peanut Dudett of France, and decided to meet her later.

"Yeah! That Goofie Goober place, your the new star!" Rima said, pulling down her pants like Patrick Star and showing him the Goofie Goober underwear Rima was wearing right then, which she never changed, once again, like Patrick.

Peanut dude finally took his eyes off from the naked Peanut Dudett of France, and looked at the underwear Rima was wearing.

"WHAT??!" Peanut Dude was highly affronted to see that the dancing peanut of Rima's underwear was NOT HIM.

He had competition.

"I'm going y'all. I got buisness to take care of," He said, walking out the balcony, which Rima didn't have, so he fell.

"Smooth!" Rima called from above.

"That's very nice, you know that? Maybe you need some time with Amu's mom! And be sure to read Elmo's book! It's the most awsome!" Peanut dude said, walking away...away...away...and blob...kids attacking the blob......coming back.....coming back...SLAM!

"Yeah, so, I'm kind of back, because I'm scared of all those kids."

"That's very nice."

"...Yeah, I know."

* * *

"You know, Tadase should totally try out the live action role of Naruto." Utau said to Yaya, who was now manager because she came with her own suit.

"Yeah, and I can make Naruto a buisness suit." Yaya said, trying to blow hair out of her face which was growing to crazily fast.

"Yes, but Naruto wears an orange suit."

"True, true." Yaya said, nodding viciously, still trying to blow hair out of the way so she could see anything else beside strands of her hair.

"Yeah."

"Well, what does he do? Wear the same clothing for ten years straight?" Yaya asked, not getting why everyone in Naruto world never changed.

"I...I guess." Utau said, staring desperately at the buisness suit that had popped out of nowhere, but was ripped by Yaya's anger, so it was very revealing.

"I need to eat some deoderant." Yaya said, stomping out of the screen of the camera and munching on another one of vanilla deoderant, which, according to her, was super duper mega ultra … lotion perfume hand santitizer delicious.

"Yeah, yeah, you do that."

"Yeah, I will."

"Fine, then I'll just go over to the emo corner and start eating some chapsticks." Utau said, pulling out a chapstick out of the director's pocket, who was filming them, and started muching on it happily.

"Dude, you just ate my chapstick." The director pointed out.

"Yeah. Din't I?"

"Yeah. You did, dude."

"Yeah, I did."

"Um...You know that is mine."

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

"Well...um...can I have it back?"

Suddenly, the director's hair rapped around his body and started chocking it's own body to death.

"Do you really want it back?" Utau asked, smiling a very angelic smile that no one will ever figure out the death threat between the lines.

"No...no."

"Yeah, you don't, don't you?"

"...um, which ever one that means that I don't want my chapstick back, and you can eat all my chapstick for all I care." The director said, hading Utau a collection of his chapsticks.

"Nice~~."

* * *

Ikuto was NOT out of the bathtub yet. Yes, it wasn't him on Rima's balcony, it was Peanut Dude. Ikuto was just relaxing in the bathtub for two days straight. He didn't really feel like getting out of the tub. It tasted like water, which he loved.

Utau had given up on trying to get her brother out of the bathtub. She highly suspected that he was forming some kind of club in there which probably involved cats, freedom, sun, and monkeys.

Donkey Kong has gotten his own show, and Utau was watching him when she realized something. Why would a monkey be named Donkey Kong if it's a monkey? Not that she cared much about. What she cared much about was that she was developing a bladder problem for not being able to use the toilet for two days staight. Apperantly, Ikuto was having too much 'fun' in the bathroom. Utau didn't want to find out what that meant.

Inside the bathroom, Ikuto was drowning still for two days straight because he was a cat right now, which couldn't turn back into a human.

* * *

"Ha! I'm a genius!" Gozen yelled, smirking.

"Sir, yes? What is it sir?" A random pasing by guy asked. Gozen threw him to the sunset(lol, poketmon ding!{when the jesse and the other girl gets thrown to the sky}).

"I want a double cheese burger with strawberry milkshake, some curly fries, vanilla cone, AND chicken nuggets." Gozen said over the phone.

Phone: "Sir, aren't you the fat person who ordered the fat peep's order the other time?"

"That was because that was my perfect luch plan." Gozen said in a wanna-go-sista voice.

Phone: "Sir, now you just sound very obese."

"... GIVE ME MY PERFECT LUNCH PLAN!"

Phone: "Fine, gosh, obesity really gets some people."

**Gina-chan: Be glad I finished this AGAIN. I was almost done when my computer froze, so I was not going to write this fanfic for about two months or so because I was so mad.**

** Cami-chan: Any way, review please to encourage Gina-chan to not be mad at this fanfic and keep writing!**

** Gina-chan: Like Aha!**

** Cami-chan: My joke!**


	8. Chapter 8: Like uhhuh!

**Gina-chan: OMG, I am too busy!!!!**

**Cami-chan: More like too lazy.**

**Gina-chan: I was bazy!!! Sorry, sorry, sorry, love ya for yer patience, mwa!**

**Cami-chan: Your such a retard...person.**

**Gina-chan: Hey, I control you in my story.**

**Cami-chan: So? Like aha what?**

**Gina-chan: So I can make you kiss people you don't wanna kiss.**

**Cami-chan: Like...a clock!**

**Gina-chan: Sure...what? no! I mean like a person...person...that's a person.**

**Cami-chan: Whatev. I dun't really care like aha, but seriously....AHA!**

**A person with a ski mask on: That person doesn't own Shugo Chara.**

* * *

Rima. Peanut dude. Rima. Peanut dude. Glaring. Smiling. Person. Peanut. Blond hair. Blond body. Rima. Peanut dude. Glaring. Smiling. Tapping. Eating. Glaring. Smiling. Bi. Gay. Rima. Peanut dude.

"Can you stop smiling so gayly at me?" Rima cried out in frustration as the blond bodied moving peanut who was gay smiled gayly at her. Tadase much?

"Much ado nothing. Whatever that means." Peanut dude said, not knowing what that meant. It was just one of those cool phrases he always wanted to say.

"What does that mean?" Rima asked, eating a peanut flavored ice cream she made.

"I...don't know. But! Don't eat that, lick me instead! Your offending me by eating a peanut flavored ice cream instead of me!" He/she/it said, charging his big fat ugly fugly head at Rima's face.

Big. Fat. Ugly. Fugly.

FUGLY.

"Woah, chill dude, gosh, gsoh, gosh, G. O. S. H. SPELLS GOSH!!!!! I said... Gosh! Gosh, dude, gosh. I SAID GOSH! GOSH! I definitely said gosh, g-o-s-h! Gosh!!!!!!~!" Rima said, filling ice cream in her bathroom tub.

"Oh, wait, what did you say again?"

"O. M. G." Rima said, so stunned by the Peanut dude's retardness.

------Peanut is Retarded------------

"Yahoo!!!" Yaya shouted....flying. With bunch of buisness suits as her parechutt. She was sky diving, or, well, more like sneaking into a helicopter and knocking out the driver and sky diving.

"Yahoo-hoo!" Yaya shouted again, kicking her legs in the air.

"Yaya!!!!" Utau called her hair reaching up to the sky.

"Ya-yes?!"

"Utau go potty!"

"What?!!!"

"UTAU GO POTTY!!!!!!"

"What?"

"**_UTAU GO POTTTTYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!~!!!!"_**

"Oh, Utau-chan, hold on just a moment, I'll be right there!"

"Utau go potty!"

----------Utau's a retard also-----------

Kairi was fine. Exept a mosquito in his underwear sucking blood out of his...place. Other then that he was fine. Definitely. So totally fine. Except the fact his was lost in Mount Everest. He seriously had no freaking idea how he got there.

"Ummm....Hello???"

-----------Kairi's a retardo------------

"KUKAI!" the coached yelled.

"Yes?"

"What did I tell you about making people lick yer footie?"

"It's wrong and gross, but my foot is strangely tasty! Lick it!"

"Souma...SURE!"

So the coach started licking his foot also.

"Perfect...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!"

-----------The coach is so totally retarded------------

Ikuto was finally free. From the bathroom! Utau finally got to relieve herself for the first time in three days.

"Like how could you?"

"Shhh,shh,shh, Utau-chan, concertrate on letting all the liquids out," Yaya said, patting Utau's head.

"How could you!!!"

"How could I? I was drowning! How could YOU!"

"How could I what?"

"Not pull me out and save me?"

"...ME HAVTA POTTY!!!!"

-----------Still retarded Utau+Ikuto makes retarduo---------------

Amu was unconcsious. And at the same time, she was concious. It was like she was seeing a walking tv. There was Ikuto-kuto-to-chii's steppie-daddy. He was talking to a peanut.

Wow, she thought, he really needs to get out some.

The scene changed and it showed Rima and the Peanut.

The scene changed again and showed a cat drowning.

Amu was unconcious.

Or was she?

**Gina=chan: Lalalala!**

**Cami-chan: Aha!**

**Gina-chan: Lalala!!!**


End file.
